Arrugas

Arrugas (Wrinkles)

You are my grounding energy

When I felt judged by the world I found peace in your embrace

When I had no words to express my pain your arrugas held space for me

When I was ready to give up, the wisdom held in your arrugas centered me

When I watched your body transform- hair loss, weight loss, memory loss- your arrugas helped me find my way to you.

Your arrugas are my constant

Your arrugas are the roots that keep me grounded

Your arrugas led me to our ancestors.

Your arrugas have now been planted into the soil, you are now part of the earth, your arrugas are all around me.

Your arrugas are now with the ancestors, they are keepers of knowledge, wisdom and memory.

I carry your arrugas in my heart.

I tend to my arrugas- I water them, I watch them grow, I see them become more defined.

I hope my arrugas carry the wisdom yours have gifted me, the wisdom I watched you gift others.

I watched you ask for your earrings as your learned your illness was terminal

I watched you as my oldest sister brushed your hair

I watched you- in awe, respect and admiration

I watched you love with words and with action

I watched you transform

I watched you confront death and fear

I watched the arrugas on your face change

I watched your hair fall

I watched you earn new scars

I watched your arms get thinner

I watched your clothing sizes get smaller

I watched as you lost weight

I watched as you lost your voice

I watched as your awareness faded

I watched as you were visited by our loved ones

I watched you change, still my mother, still firm and loving and always wise

I watched as you and I learned our new relationship

I watched the mother I knew fade and learned to love you in all your news forms

I watched you take your last breath.

Your wrinkles are my light house, your hands are my anchor, your smooth palms a callused fingertips were reminders of your sacrifices

Your wrinkles are what I miss most.

When everything changed around me, when everything fell apart, as I felt the pain of losing you, your wrinkles were my constant.

Your wrinkles carry wisdom, they carry messages from the ancestors.

I will always listen to the lessons of your Arrugas.